“Quote This!”

dp: What’s that go link again? The one for all the AT&T VPLs?
amanda: go/attvpl?
dp: That’s the one.

The hair grows on company time, so it should get cut on company time.

amanda: So you’re asking me to start the project later and somehow also manage to finish it sooner?
Product Manager: It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.
amanda: It also sounded ridiculous when you said it. You just used different words.

amanda: I might have to kill myself if both of these projects go into the lab the same week.
chuck: If it ends up the same LE, I will personally mix the Kool-Aid and we can drink it together.

ak: This guy is always confused.
amanda: Can I unconfuse him with my fist?

I love this push Blog – it’s the evolution of procrastinating. Finally I am informed in real time when it is time to stop working and surf the web for useless content. I Heart technology.

Patient: My ex-husband is also a patient here.
Jillian: Oh really?
Patient: Yes, last time I was here he was here too.
Jillian: Oh.
Patient: And I recently saw his girlfriend downtown. She asked how I was and I said “None of your business, and by the way, are you still fucking my husband?”
Jillian: *Silence*

Mark: Missed the flight and they are out of Steak Wraps and Fanta Orange – this trip sucks!!!

Vince: just walk in the room backwards and you’re ready to leave.

After getting out of our cab in dallas that stunk so bad!
Mark gets out of his cab and says “oh we could have had a stink off”

Mark: until the ring is on the finger its all fun times

amanda: Smart! I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks.
poonster: People are getting paid??

amanda: FUCK. I can’t get any of the data I need because it’s a fucking holiday in Mexico.
m: Really? For Easter?
amanda: Apparently.
m: Who knew the Mexicans were so into Jesus?

amanda: Like it wasn’t the right answer when I said it? They needed you to confirm it? Is this cos I’m a girl?
Mitchell: Naw, I heard it was because you know Brent. Anyone associated with that guy needs double-checking.

amanda: Have you seen my baseball?
bt: Have you seen my airplane? If so could you send it to Houston, gate A9. Tell them they are a tad late.

Patrick: He sounds like he’s half-asleep!
amanda: Nah. He’s just from Texas.

Brandon: What education do you even need to do something like that?
Brent: None! You just have to be sober enough to stand-up.
Kiz: Not even! There’s a stool.

natron: We need an old-school reunion so we can all get together and see how cynical and worn-out each of us has become. We may even be able to have a little fun, which would be a big bonus for sure.

amanda: I like fun. And you guys. And I’ve always been cynical, but now I’m cynical about completely different things. Let’s party!

Product manager: If the difference in testing is only one day, then I think we should go for it.
Project manager: I agree. I was just thinking that we would aim and then fire, instead of fire and then aim.

Seriously. How does our company function?

DD: This is Dave. He’s Wargo’s replacement.
Mebs: Really? That was quick!
DD: I know. It took forever to hire Wargo.
Mebs: Didn’t take long to replace him!

 China. Where is that again?

DoubleD: Well I wouldn’t want it to ruin your vacation.
DoubleT: Wouldn’t be the first time.

It’s that time again, the grass is green, it feels like summer, the long weekend is coming AND usability testing is pulled up to take your holiday Monday from you.

ian: I looked at the list and totally failed to see what I was looking for.
amanda: I guess the folder structure is sorta confusing. . .
ian: Not a usability failure – a reading failure.
amanda: Oh! Well that’s a horse of a different colour.
ian: A horse made of fail.

The biggest issue with making presentations is that people tend to forget that it’s called PowerPoint, not PowerSentence.

He just needs an elbow to the head everyone once in a while. It’s like when you reboot a computer. . . 

Angela: You guys should all grow mustaches.
Steve: For Halloween?
Angela: No, just in general.

I just don’t want to go to a gun fight with a knife.

Sarah: The huge bull comes out, all dominant and stuff, and ofcourse wants to eat my grass.

amanda: So you’re not getting me a pony? Damn!

Matthew: I live in awe of your email response time. It borders on precognition.

amanda: I was tired of copying and pasting the URL whenever I had to point someone to the web form, so I created a go url: go/kb

good old bd: I would have picked go/away as the URL   

Damn him! He’s my Newman.

amanda: What is this?
leanne: The new marketing material from the UK. I guess they’re doing everything in black and white.
amanda: Hmm. They’re bringing grayscale back. Them other colours don’t know how to act?

Amanda: Did you hear that Jim B bought the Pittsburgh Penguins?
Baldev: Jim B got caught spitting on a penguin?

We really have to be aware of the costs versus the benefits if we’re going to spend 30 bazillion dollars for a ski trip. . . to Bermuda.

Bad Andy to an employee of the source who was walking out of the store as we walked by: Hey buddy, lot of hot chicks in there tonight?
Source Employee: No not really.
Bad Andy: Well I bet you pick up a lot of hot chicks in there a lot.
Source Employee: No not really

Surprised?