“Quote This!”

Mike: there is a dead fly in my beer… Well, at least he died happy.

Robyn: Jeff, do you want water?
Jeff: I have beer. There’s lots of water in beer.

I was so drunk you could have blindfolded me with dental floss.

LQ: What’s the card game BT makes us play?
amanda: It’s actually me, not him. And it’s called Up the River, Down the River.
LQ: Right!
amanda: Though I like that you blame him for it. Usually something that forces you to get wasted is BT’s fault.

Jenny B: The sober realization I tried to pull a “Mike Tyson” on DP’s ear is slightly embarrassing.

Dad: How was that rye and ginger I made you?
amanda: It’s good. I’m still drinking it.
*Mom and dad look at their empty glasses and then at each other.*
Dad: You must be someone else’s daughter.

Rachel: My arm hurts. It hurts when I do this. *curls bicep*
amanda: Perhaps you strained it lifting all those cocktails last night?
Rachel: It is my drinking arm!

BT: Anyone up for food and tons of water at noon?

Kelly: I may actually be dying this morning. I haven’t lifted my head high enough yet to test the theory but just FYI.

BT: Perhaps we have a drink before church? God intended it this way.

Kathy: I love this band! They’re so good!
amanda: They are good. But you know you’re drunk when you really love the bar band.

BT: Jabes and I are hung like mofos.
amanda: Worth it. I had a great time. I wish Mebs’ neighbours were not such dicks.
BT: Ditto. We were just starting to line up for the RDP part II and they fucked us.

Willy: On a scale of 1 to 10, how ridiculous was I last night?
DP: We call that the booze guilt.
amanda: I’d say pretty much everyone was at least a 7. You were maybe a 9?
Willy: Ohhhhh, I was such an idiot. I hate life right now. On a side note, do you know where either of our sunnies are?

Uhhhhhh. I feel 90.

amanda: I leave for Oklahoma tomorrow morning.
BT: Oh ya.. how long are you gone for?
amanda: A week
BT: Sweet deal!
BT: Dont get the wine flu!
BT: Or maybe get the wine flu, but not the Swine one.

amanda: I am now chugging beer to help them finish their pitcher!
kathy: You’re a champ. I know you’re drinking rye so that’s huge. I hope they appreciate you.
kathy: ps: There’s no vomit on the floor over here, so it’s already a step up!

BT: I don’t do karaoke. I do karawesome.

BT: Whose rye is this?
amanda: Mine. You can have some if you want.

*pause*

BT: Is this your rye?
amanda: Yes
BT: Can I have some?
amanda: Yes. Didn’t you hear what I just said?

*pause*

BT: What?

Brandon: What education do you even need to do something like that?
Brent: None! You just have to be sober enough to stand-up.
Kiz: Not even! There’s a stool.

n@s: That doesn’t sound like good news for your liver.
BT: Do you need your liver to stay alive?
amanda: Pretty sure.
BT: I guess that’s why they call it your live-er.

Great times last night. Always a good idea to pound some Buds in the hotel lobby.

Seriously. How does our company function?

Fuck you Feet! Go make me some fucking mozzarella sticks!

Losing money is so much fun. I hate it!

Kiz: We’ll probably end up at Ethels. I can send you directions if you’ve never been before.

BT: I’m hunk and dry.
amanda: Do you mean drunk and high?
BT: You know that’s what I meant.

BT: Ow! You smacked my eyeball, you stupid optometrist!

jBo: Tron! Tell me they’re not calling someone Tron!
amanda: They are. And I think it might be Brent.