“Quote This!”

dp: What’s that go link again? The one for all the AT&T VPLs?
amanda: go/attvpl?
dp: That’s the one.

Hey Rubenstein, I was just passing by BT’s desk and notice this odd note. It states you admitted to being wrong. I know it felt a little cold outside but this confirms it, hell has frozen o-va!

Is this band really amazing? Or am I just really high?

DP: You sound smart on this email thread.
amanda: Copy and paste, yo.
DP: C&P like it aint no thang!!! -Master T, MuchMusic.
amanda: Master T grew up in KW. I saw him at Shoppers Drug Mart once in like, 1996.
DP: HUGE moment in the life of one arubin. He was likely purchasing massive amounts of hair product and silver polish for his bling.
amanda: Dippity-do hairgel for sure.
amanda: Damn. I wonder if they still make that stuff?
DP: They do, I own it.

bt: Any chance you can send me Low by Flo-rida? Lost it on my BlackBerry I think.
amanda: Done and done.
bt: You rock. Thanks dude.
amanda: Tough to have an RDP without your favourite song!
bt: It’s true. I was worried.
bt: An RDP without Flo-rida is like McDonalds without the fries.

troy: I was reading up on the stats. Canada has won more medals every winter Olympics for the last 20 years.
amanda: Because they keep adding new sports that we’ve invented. We always win when no one else has had a chance to learn how to do it yet!

LQ: What’s the card game BT makes us play?
amanda: It’s actually me, not him. And it’s called Up the River, Down the River.
LQ: Right!
amanda: Though I like that you blame him for it. Usually something that forces you to get wasted is BT’s fault.

amanda: So you’re asking me to start the project later and somehow also manage to finish it sooner?
Product Manager: It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.
amanda: It also sounded ridiculous when you said it. You just used different words.

ak: This guy is always confused.
amanda: Can I unconfuse him with my fist?

Dad: How was that rye and ginger I made you?
amanda: It’s good. I’m still drinking it.
*Mom and dad look at their empty glasses and then at each other.*
Dad: You must be someone else’s daughter.

Dad: Pass me the square-headed screwdriver.
Mom: Isn’t that a character?
amanda: Isn’t who a character?
Mom: Squarehead Fatpants? He’s yellow. He’s a cartoon character.
amanda: Mom! It’s Spongebob Squarepants.

amanda: A lot of people do the C backwards.
Kruschack: I know!
amanda: Why is that?
Kruschack: They’re stupid.

This post was created at this location.

Troy: You need a stick.
Sandra: Why?
Troy: Cos you’se a sucka!

This post was created at this location.

Troy: Whatever you say Donald.
amanda: What? Who’s Donald?
Troy: Trump?
amanda: What?
Troy: Donald! Trump!
amanda: My bad.

Mom: Did you know one of the Jonas Brothers is diabetic?
amanda: Really? Which one?
Mom: The dark-haired one.
amanda: I read that one of them got engaged.
Mom: Which one?
amanda: Surprisingly enough, also the dark haired one.

amanda: Smart! I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks.
poonster: People are getting paid??

Rachel: My arm hurts. It hurts when I do this. *curls bicep*
amanda: Perhaps you strained it lifting all those cocktails last night?
Rachel: It is my drinking arm!

amanda: Which one of you assholes requested Lou Bega?

Kathy: I love this band! They’re so good!
amanda: They are good. But you know you’re drunk when you really love the bar band.

Rachel: We don’t hate the Irish. We hate the French.
amanda: True. No one likes the French.
Rachel: We love the Irish! They’re like our drunk cousins!
Mark: Funny. I feel like your drunk cousin.

amanda: Be careful. There’s a lot of crap on there.
Rachel: But I like crap!

amanda: Oh man. I really wanna listen to Snoop Dog right now.
sandra: And that’s how you know.
amanda: Know what?
sandra: You know you’re high when you really wanna listen to Snoop Dog.

amanda: I didn’t get home in time to watch it. Who won Americian Idol?
mom: Kris.
amanda: Figures.
mom: America may be ready for a black president, but not for a cross-dressing American Idol.

amanda: Are you playing BrickBreaker?
Mom: I play it every night before I go to bed. It relaxes me.

BT: Jabes and I are hung like mofos.
amanda: Worth it. I had a great time. I wish Mebs’ neighbours were not such dicks.
BT: Ditto. We were just starting to line up for the RDP part II and they fucked us.

Willy: On a scale of 1 to 10, how ridiculous was I last night?
DP: We call that the booze guilt.
amanda: I’d say pretty much everyone was at least a 7. You were maybe a 9?
Willy: Ohhhhh, I was such an idiot. I hate life right now. On a side note, do you know where either of our sunnies are?

amanda: I leave for Oklahoma tomorrow morning.
BT: Oh ya.. how long are you gone for?
amanda: A week
BT: Sweet deal!
BT: Dont get the wine flu!
BT: Or maybe get the wine flu, but not the Swine one.

amanda: FUCK. I can’t get any of the data I need because it’s a fucking holiday in Mexico.
m: Really? For Easter?
amanda: Apparently.
m: Who knew the Mexicans were so into Jesus?

DP: There should be TV cameras when we’re out for a night. Better than MTV. What does LC have on us?
amanda: Thousands of dollars and her own clothing line?
DP: Our clothing line would not involve pants – that’s for sure.

DP: Do I look like a fighter pilot?
amanda: You look just like Amelia Earhart.
DP: Isn’t she a woman?
amanda: Yup.
DP: Is she even a fighter pilot?
Lany: Not even a little.

I’m pretty proud that I didn’t listen to you guys when you told me it was okay to take my pants off.

amanda: I am now chugging beer to help them finish their pitcher!
kathy: You’re a champ. I know you’re drinking rye so that’s huge. I hope they appreciate you.
kathy: ps: There’s no vomit on the floor over here, so it’s already a step up!

Julie: White trash never goes away. You just get a haircut and try to hide it.

amanda: I can’t get the CD player to work.
BT: it’s just like the first time you have sex. Keep shoving it in til it works.

AR: I want to get drunk but not so much I can’t function
BT: I wanna get so wasted that you can’t function

amanda: Like it wasn’t the right answer when I said it? They needed you to confirm it? Is this cos I’m a girl?
Mitchell: Naw, I heard it was because you know Brent. Anyone associated with that guy needs double-checking.

amanda: What’s a lilo?
Rachel: A lilo is a blow up mattress that you take to the pool or use in the sea (that you can float around on). Why? What do you guys call it?
amanda: We call it an air mattress.

amanda: Have you seen my baseball?
bt: Have you seen my airplane? If so could you send it to Houston, gate A9. Tell them they are a tad late.

Patrick: He sounds like he’s half-asleep!
amanda: Nah. He’s just from Texas.

BT: Whose rye is this?
amanda: Mine. You can have some if you want.

*pause*

BT: Is this your rye?
amanda: Yes
BT: Can I have some?
amanda: Yes. Didn’t you hear what I just said?

*pause*

BT: What?

amanda: Remember how I told you I had a crush on REDACTED?
BT: Yup.
amanda: I lied. He was a lot more desirable before I actually had a conversation with him.
BT: It happens.

n@s: That doesn’t sound like good news for your liver.
BT: Do you need your liver to stay alive?
amanda: Pretty sure.
BT: I guess that’s why they call it your live-er.

amanda: Someone should have stopped her! That girl was too annoying to live.
Rachel: I’m glad I wasn’t drinking fucking Stella or I would have lumped her one.

natron: We need an old-school reunion so we can all get together and see how cynical and worn-out each of us has become. We may even be able to have a little fun, which would be a big bonus for sure.

amanda: I like fun. And you guys. And I’ve always been cynical, but now I’m cynical about completely different things. Let’s party!

DP: Here comes Amanda, bringing up the rear.
amanda: Just the way I like it.
amanda: Damn. I shouldn’t have said that.

Lisa: Is she really drunk?
amanda: Either that or really stupid. I can’t figure out which.

amanda: If this plane goes down you’re toast. Me, Murtha, D Squared, Knapster and DP are all on the same flight.
Meby: That sounds like a serious promotion, not an issue.

Geurts: Who’s that rapper? B52? Nick 69?
amanda: Buck 65?
Geurts: That’s the one!

Kiz: We’ll probably end up at Ethels. I can send you directions if you’ve never been before.

dp: amandarubin, you are really digging the ABBA. I can tell.
amanda: You bet!
dp: You know, I can’t really blame you.