amanda: So you’re asking me to start the project later and somehow also manage to finish it sooner?
Product Manager: It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.
amanda: It also sounded ridiculous when you said it. You just used different words.
amanda: I might have to kill myself if both of these projects go into the lab the same week.
chuck: If it ends up the same LE, I will personally mix the Kool-Aid and we can drink it together.
natron: We need an old-school reunion so we can all get together and see how cynical and worn-out each of us has become. We may even be able to have a little fun, which would be a big bonus for sure.
amanda: I like fun. And you guys. And I’ve always been cynical, but now I’m cynical about completely different things. Let’s party!
Patrick: In the words of Jim, “We are going to blow our load next week”.
Product manager: If the difference in testing is only one day, then I think we should go for it.
Project manager: I agree. I was just thinking that we would aim and then fire, instead of fire and then aim.
DoubleD: Well I wouldn’t want it to ruin your vacation.
DoubleT: Wouldn’t be the first time.
Dear RIM employees who are:
a) wearing earplugs
b) sitting down
You don’t deserve this.
no love, Van fucking Halen
He just needs an elbow to the head everyone once in a while. It’s like when you reboot a computer. . .Â
I just don’t want to go to a gun fight with a knife.
amanda: So you’re not getting me a pony? Damn!
BD: I would but it would crap on everyone’s cubicle and I’d get in trouble.
amanda: Isn’t dealing with horseshit in the project management job description?
matt: we should google tourettes, we dont want to look like idiots
bt: Ya, the idea is to make the waitress look like an idiot
**F.Y.I. we spelled it terrets
(after looking it up on google)
Jon: Ohhh tourettes… Its French!… The Tourettes de France… Imagine that… It would be dangerous!
Matt: I think our waitress is like 22 years old.Â
Jon: My name is Jonathan do I get a discount?
crazy waitress (cw): Sorry, the owner isn’t even named Jonathan. He stole it from a restaurant in Burlington.
Jon: Isn’t that illegal?
cw: No, he doesn’t care, he’s Greek.
 —
Jon: Tell us a story.
cw: I once took a baseball bat to a bar, because the owner owed me 700 bucks. It was the Nudie Bar, that was the actual name of it.
Jon: What? Were you a dancer of something (half-joking)
Cw: Shush…. I don’t want the owner to hear…. He might tell my 8 year old son
 —-
Matt: So is the cook the owner or something?
cw: Yeah. He just sleeps in his van out back. We have to go wake him up when there’s customers.
(Bell rings)
cw: I’ll go grab your salads.
(brings salads)
cw: What a jackass… He said I was talking too much to the customers
(Matt has to turn his head, and almost pees himself. Jon’s water comes out his nose onto Matt’s BlackBerry).
—-
Jon: Matt’s mom pays me to be his friend
cw: My mom’s best friend used to pay me to hang out with her son. He had Tourrette’s Syndrome. He tried to slice his wrists with a butter knife.
(Matt seriously pisses himself a little this time)
cw: Thats why I like high school better than elementary school. I had way more friends.
amanda: I was tired of copying and pasting the URL whenever I had to point someone to the web form, so I created a go url: go/kb
good old bd: I would have picked go/away as the URL Â
Damn him! He’s my Newman.
amanda: What is this?
leanne: The new marketing material from the UK. I guess they’re doing everything in black and white.
amanda: Hmm. They’re bringing grayscale back. Them other colours don’t know how to act?
They’ll give you $1000 for just about anything. Because you have a trade-in, because you work at RIM, because it’s Thursday.
Steve: What’s that sound?
Amanda: Oh sorry. That’s my BlackBerry. The radio in it interferes with the speakers.
Todd: Really? You should bring that up at a meeting or something.
Amanda: Did you hear that Jim B bought the Pittsburgh Penguins?
Baldev: Jim B got caught spitting on a penguin?
We really have to be aware of the costs versus the benefits if we’re going to spend 30 bazillion dollars for a ski trip. . . to Bermuda.
They are all about criticising our multimedia and proclaiming their expertise in the space but what we delivered to them is so easy my mom could probably set it up.
BT: Let’s roll.
Leigh: It’s too early to go to the Starlight.
Amanda: Well, we’re too drunk to stay here!
Did we just dance to a song called Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy?
Get your boobs away from my boyfriend.
Are we all the way around to S again?
Tough. But not impossible.