overheard at the office
September 5th, 2008China. Where is that again?
China. Where is that again?
DoubleD: Well I wouldn’t want it to ruin your vacation.
DoubleT: Wouldn’t be the first time.
Lisa: Is she really drunk?
amanda: Either that or really stupid. I can’t figure out which.
Fuck you Feet! Go make me some fucking mozzarella sticks!
Hands: We’ll all meet at Ethel’s Lounge at around 6ish.
Lisa: 6pm? I’ll be juiced and passed out by 10!
Hands: Fingers crossed!
Hands: A suit and tie are usually recommended when visiting Ethel’s. This will also be a non-alcoholic affair as it has become obvious that everyone attending has a problem.
amanda: Maybe they can make cars that run on methane? Then we can have hamburgers and drive SUVs!
goldie: That’s called having your steak and eating it too.
The only time I’ve ever seen a commercial with a talking beaver, or any beaver for that matter, is when I’m in Canada.
amanda: If this plane goes down you’re toast. Me, Murtha, D Squared, Knapster and DP are all on the same flight.
Meby: That sounds like a serious promotion, not an issue.
Losing money is so much fun. I hate it!
Geurts: Who’s that rapper? B52? Nick 69?
amanda: Buck 65?
Geurts: That’s the one!
Kiz: We’ll probably end up at Ethels. I can send you directions if you’ve never been before.
dp: amandarubin, you are really digging the ABBA. I can tell.
amanda: You bet!
dp: You know, I can’t really blame you.
amanda: And in the southern states they have that terrible chicken fried steak with the white gravy.
Hands: Sausage gravy!
amanda: That stuff is terrible.
Hands: You’ll find that anywhere south of the Mississippi. Which is everywhere. Cos the Mississippi runs vertically.
It’s that time again, the grass is green, it feels like summer, the long weekend is coming AND usability testing is pulled up to take your holiday Monday from you.
Goldie: You should go to Japan and become and ESL teacher.
Dustin: They’ll come out knowing less than when they went in!
BT: They’ll come out with four fucking scoops is what they’ll come out with!
So. . . how’s grade 9 working out for you guys?
BT: I’m hunk and dry.
amanda: Do you mean drunk and high?
BT: You know that’s what I meant.
ian: I looked at the list and totally failed to see what I was looking for.
amanda: I guess the folder structure is sorta confusing. . .
ian: Not a usability failure – a reading failure.
amanda: Oh! Well that’s a horse of a different colour.
ian: A horse made of fail.
bt: i wonder if someone walks around in white pants in the winter if it just looks like their upper half is floating?
Paula Abdul to Jason Castro: I felt you. That came from your heart, and I feel your heart.
Amanda: His heart isn’t all she wants to feel.
BB: My kids are getting to the age where they are going to start encountering drugs.
GT: Weed makes me paranoid
DP: It makes me want popsicles and my bed
BT: It makes me awesome
Bt: umm I am pretty sure that guy was going to count to 100 in Dutch for us.
Dp: ya’ what the fuck? Do we have signs on us that say if you are a bum talk to us?
Dp: hey baby I punched you a painting in the wall.
While watching a Chris Bosh interview…
Brad: he looks like snoop dog
Kiz: ya but worse
Brent: snoop dog hit by a dump truck
Kiz [to the tune of snoop dawgy dawg]: Snoop duuuuump truuuck
The biggest issue with making presentations is that people tend to forget that it’s called PowerPoint, not PowerSentence.
Jeff: You should come to my party! My Amish friends will be there. . .
Amanda: Cos one of the things lesbians like best is Amish men.
You better fuck him hard. And I don’t mean in your personal life, either!
Kiz: have you seen the movie called 12 is enough?…
**Brad and Brent have no idea what she is talking about
…Some time later…
Kiz: Oh its Cheaper by the dozen.
Kiz: I feel like I need to do something…
Vicki: Push ups. Go!
Jillian: your hair is really dark right now. Do the curtains match the drapes?
Kyle: there’s no curtains
Brent: grand lux cafe is right there. Wow it looks fancy
JW: ya its a pretty big deal.
BT: Ow! You smacked my eyeball, you stupid optometrist!
jBo: Tron! Tell me they’re not calling someone Tron!
amanda: They are. And I think it might be Brent.
Nothing says I love you like an IT Policy!
Andy: That’s not my area of expertise.
Amanda: Well, what is your area of expertise?
Andy: Awesome.
Justin: Women and donuts? That sounds like a good party!
Amanda: I think he said women and donors.
BT: It’s is a joint. Not a microphone.
Brad: Do you want to go get a Christmas tree tomorrow?
Kiz: Yes. No! I don’t know. I do. But I don’t like making plans.
BT: Do you want to spontaneously go get a Christmas tree tomorrow?
Are you Al Gore right now?
BT: It’s Brent’s 3 step program. To awesomeness.
Amanda: This is a lot of base.
Mike: It is.
Erin: It’s also a significant amount of snare.
Amanda: No one wants to hear this. No one wants to dance to Fuck her Gently by Tenacious D!
Kristin: Where is Perry anyway?
davep to brandy: Do you have different holsters depending on the colour of the outfit that you are wearing?
brandy: Yeah, don’t you?
davep: No, I rock sans holster, but I hear these thing give off radiation that can mess with your gennies.
jeffg: That’s not a bad thing you know, now you can go “buckets off”
It’s been officially cold and snowy for less than a week and already I am fucking tired of listening to people complain about it. Which is why this struck such a chord with me:
Amen!
davep: I knew a guy that had a girl friend wth small hands. He loved it, can you guess why?
*After some serious thought, davep is about to tell us and Brandy pretty much screams out
brandy: OH I KNOW!!!
clue: It makes something look else look bigger.
Dear Jerk,
I don’t know what you were thinking when you designed a phone that resets every two seconds and never seems to work properly. Would you give your mother this phone? I hope not, because she would be very ashamed of you. Dumbass.
bt: tossing your butt of the side of your balcony in kitchener is definately going to cause some bum fights!
davep: You know i have to buy Guitar Hero now and it is going to ruin my life don’t you?