“Quote This!”

I was so drunk you could have blindfolded me with dental floss.

DP: You sound smart on this email thread.
amanda: Copy and paste, yo.
DP: C&P like it aint no thang!!! -Master T, MuchMusic.
amanda: Master T grew up in KW. I saw him at Shoppers Drug Mart once in like, 1996.
DP: HUGE moment in the life of one arubin. He was likely purchasing massive amounts of hair product and silver polish for his bling.
amanda: Dippity-do hairgel for sure.
amanda: Damn. I wonder if they still make that stuff?
DP: They do, I own it.

bt: Any chance you can send me Low by Flo-rida? Lost it on my BlackBerry I think.
amanda: Done and done.
bt: You rock. Thanks dude.
amanda: Tough to have an RDP without your favourite song!
bt: It’s true. I was worried.
bt: An RDP without Flo-rida is like McDonalds without the fries.

troy: I was reading up on the stats. Canada has won more medals every winter Olympics for the last 20 years.
amanda: Because they keep adding new sports that we’ve invented. We always win when no one else has had a chance to learn how to do it yet!

LQ: What’s the card game BT makes us play?
amanda: It’s actually me, not him. And it’s called Up the River, Down the River.
LQ: Right!
amanda: Though I like that you blame him for it. Usually something that forces you to get wasted is BT’s fault.

amanda: So you’re asking me to start the project later and somehow also manage to finish it sooner?
Product Manager: It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.
amanda: It also sounded ridiculous when you said it. You just used different words.

Dp: pregnant ladies scare me. Its like they are covered in dynamite and you are holding the candle.

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amanda: I might have to kill myself if both of these projects go into the lab the same week.
chuck: If it ends up the same LE, I will personally mix the Kool-Aid and we can drink it together.

Jenny B: The sober realization I tried to pull a “Mike Tyson” on DP’s ear is slightly embarrassing.

Dp: you honestly can’t wear purple velvet in public.
Joanna: unless your prince.

Willy:  I want to go and see Where the Wild Things Are…..  Joanna,  can I borrow your kids tonight?

Willy: Why are you talking about kids in the hall?
Dp: I think all conversations get there eventually.

… and their business:

Sticker on G&A van: “Drive Carefully. We don’t cut keys for Heaven”

LindaQ: We ran into Patterson and Sarah Bennison.
amanda: What? Did you just say you saw Patterson with “some Mexican”?

Amazing
…

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ak: This guy is always confused.
amanda: Can I unconfuse him with my fist?

Boo ya!

That’s what she said

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Jillian: My forearms hurt… I think it’s from playing too much Word Mole.

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So I woke up last night around 3am to a guy shouting at this kid for trying to break into his car. There were a couple of funny quotes that came from this situation:

Guy on the phone to the cops (standing on the sidewalk in his boxers I might add):

Ya, so i caught up to the on guy on the bike and …
*gets interrupted by the person on the other end for a second* …
Yes they were white!

The cops finally come and Jillian is intently looking out the window now…
Jillian: There are 3 cop cars coming… Oh wait, it’ s just a triple image created by the windows.

Jillian: Cop cars are so noisy…this guy should drive a Prius.  They’re hella quiet.

goldie: Wait, you don’t like Chippendales? Isn’t it a bunch of naked guys with six-packs?
amanda: It’s gross! Naked strangers creep me out.
goldie: Who cares if they’re strangers? How am I more excited about this than you are?
amanda: That’s going on the quote blog.
goldie: Don’t put my name on it.

Co-worker: *pretends to karate kick the co-op*
Co-op: Watch yourself!
Co-worker: You watch yourself. You’re no Mr. Miyagi.
Co-op: Who’s Mr. Miyagi?

Phil: I left her in the capable hands of dave patterson
Ron (who we have spent the last 3 days with): who is dave patterson?
Phil: the ginger!
Ron: oh!

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I feel like ginger in the sun light
Amazing

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Bouncer: you can’t spit ice on a girl and not get kicked out.
Dp: ask her… She was in to it.

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You definitely want to chew that well so it doesn’t hurt when it comes back up.

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The new BlackBerry flip

A qwerty flip
Amazing…
Phil found his BlackBerry under a pull out couch this morning.

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Ron: did someone just fart or is that still mine lingering around.
*starts the fan

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bt: I don’t know how you can drink guinness hung over
Phil: it goes down smooth and its not carborated
Dp: its not what?
Phil: carborated, what?
Dp: I think you mean carbonated.

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Phil: if you were going to give the US an enima you would stick the hose in Buffalo.

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Dp: I can’t find the clock on this BlackBerry.
bt: its in the applications folder.
Dp: its not! I looked there.
Meebs: give it to me I will find it for you. There it is.
Dp: where did you find it?
Meebs: the applications folder.
Dp: no way, there is only 7 icons in there and none of them are the clock.
Meebs: scroll up!

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meg to phil: do a better job organizing my fridge like a true woman.

Girls are often bi or tri polar! Guys on the other hand have a single pole that does all the thinking!

Dp: we only ate half of our junk food.
bt: that’s pretty much like being on a diet.

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Rando in long point: if you don’t know every line from anchor man you should be shot and beat with a dead hooker.

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Dp: I had a dream I went to a house party with kate hudson last night.
Willy: did you look like A-rod?

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bt: you know what’s the best bug spray ever?
Dp: raid?

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SDCard/BlackBerry/pictures/IMG00042-20090807-2042(640).jpg
Dp: we will just trick the bugs in to thinking we are over here

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bt: why did you call your sis?
Willy: I didn’t know what the base of the nacho dip is supposed to be.
bt: oh I could have told you that! Not really how to make it though, I just know how to eat it.

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Taxi driver 2: what did the egg say to the boiling water?
It may take me a while to get hard because I just got laid last night

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bt: we had the most wicked cab driver here
Mebs: so did we… Me

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Sarah b: that’s tamaras dog, didn’t I tell you my ovaries started working again.

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Taxi driver: I was at the flying dog and out came some *makes claw action*… panthers
Linda: You mean cougars?
Taxi driver: they all have claws they rip your clothes off with

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bt: do you also fly a rocket ship?
Taxi driver: no why?
bt: because you are leaning back so far

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bt: I used to sit like that, but I found I was driving too fast…
Taxi driver: are you driving too fast or flying too slow

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How is he going to learn anything? Masturbation is fun too, but it doesn’t really get you anywhere.

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Dad: How was that rye and ginger I made you?
amanda: It’s good. I’m still drinking it.
*Mom and dad look at their empty glasses and then at each other.*
Dad: You must be someone else’s daughter.

Dad: Pass me the square-headed screwdriver.
Mom: Isn’t that a character?
amanda: Isn’t who a character?
Mom: Squarehead Fatpants? He’s yellow. He’s a cartoon character.
amanda: Mom! It’s Spongebob Squarepants.

amanda: A lot of people do the C backwards.
Kruschack: I know!
amanda: Why is that?
Kruschack: They’re stupid.

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Hold on a second. I have to do a hoedown.

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Troy: You need a stick.
Sandra: Why?
Troy: Cos you’se a sucka!

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