Phil, on drunk eyes
Posted in booze, phil on March 9th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to commentI was so drunk you could have blindfolded me with dental floss.
I was so drunk you could have blindfolded me with dental floss.
DP: You sound smart on this email thread.
amanda: Copy and paste, yo.
DP: C&P like it aint no thang!!! -Master T, MuchMusic.
amanda: Master T grew up in KW. I saw him at Shoppers Drug Mart once in like, 1996.
DP: HUGE moment in the life of one arubin. He was likely purchasing massive amounts of hair product and silver polish for his bling.
amanda: Dippity-do hairgel for sure.
amanda: Damn. I wonder if they still make that stuff?
DP: They do, I own it.
bt: Any chance you can send me Low by Flo-rida? Lost it on my BlackBerry I think.
amanda: Done and done.
bt: You rock. Thanks dude.
amanda: Tough to have an RDP without your favourite song!
bt: It’s true. I was worried.
bt: An RDP without Flo-rida is like McDonalds without the fries.
troy: I was reading up on the stats. Canada has won more medals every winter Olympics for the last 20 years.
amanda: Because they keep adding new sports that we’ve invented. We always win when no one else has had a chance to learn how to do it yet!
LQ: What’s the card game BT makes us play?
amanda: It’s actually me, not him. And it’s called Up the River, Down the River.
LQ: Right!
amanda: Though I like that you blame him for it. Usually something that forces you to get wasted is BT’s fault.
amanda: So you’re asking me to start the project later and somehow also manage to finish it sooner?
Product Manager: It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.
amanda: It also sounded ridiculous when you said it. You just used different words.
Dp: pregnant ladies scare me. Its like they are covered in dynamite and you are holding the candle.
This post was created at this location.
amanda: I might have to kill myself if both of these projects go into the lab the same week.
chuck: If it ends up the same LE, I will personally mix the Kool-Aid and we can drink it together.
Jenny B: The sober realization I tried to pull a “Mike Tyson” on DP’s ear is slightly embarrassing.
Dp: you honestly can’t wear purple velvet in public.
Joanna: unless your prince.
Willy: I want to go and see Where the Wild Things Are….. Joanna, can I borrow your kids tonight?
Willy: Why are you talking about kids in the hall?
Dp: I think all conversations get there eventually.
… and their business:
Sticker on G&A van: “Drive Carefully. We don’t cut keys for Heaven”
LindaQ: We ran into Patterson and Sarah Bennison.
amanda: What? Did you just say you saw Patterson with “some Mexican”?

Amazing
…
This post was created at this location.
ak: This guy is always confused.
amanda: Can I unconfuse him with my fist?
Boo ya!

That’s what she said
Jillian: My forearms hurt… I think it’s from playing too much Word Mole.
So I woke up last night around 3am to a guy shouting at this kid for trying to break into his car. There were a couple of funny quotes that came from this situation:
Guy on the phone to the cops (standing on the sidewalk in his boxers I might add):
Ya, so i caught up to the on guy on the bike and …
*gets interrupted by the person on the other end for a second* …
Yes they were white!
The cops finally come and Jillian is intently looking out the window now…
Jillian: There are 3 cop cars coming… Oh wait, it’ s just a triple image created by the windows.
Jillian: Cop cars are so noisy…this guy should drive a Prius. They’re hella quiet.
goldie: Wait, you don’t like Chippendales? Isn’t it a bunch of naked guys with six-packs?
amanda: It’s gross! Naked strangers creep me out.
goldie: Who cares if they’re strangers? How am I more excited about this than you are?
amanda: That’s going on the quote blog.
goldie: Don’t put my name on it.
Co-worker: *pretends to karate kick the co-op*
Co-op: Watch yourself!
Co-worker: You watch yourself. You’re no Mr. Miyagi.
Co-op: Who’s Mr. Miyagi?
Phil: I left her in the capable hands of dave patterson
Ron (who we have spent the last 3 days with): who is dave patterson?
Phil: the ginger!
Ron: oh!
This post was created at this location.

I feel like ginger in the sun light
Amazing
This post was created at this location.
Bouncer: you can’t spit ice on a girl and not get kicked out.
Dp: ask her… She was in to it.
This post was created at this location.
You definitely want to chew that well so it doesn’t hurt when it comes back up.
This post was created at this location.

The new BlackBerry flip

A qwerty flip
Amazing…
Phil found his BlackBerry under a pull out couch this morning.
This post was created at this location.
Ron: did someone just fart or is that still mine lingering around.
*starts the fan
This post was created at this location.
bt: I don’t know how you can drink guinness hung over
Phil: it goes down smooth and its not carborated
Dp: its not what?
Phil: carborated, what?
Dp: I think you mean carbonated.
This post was created at this location.
Phil: if you were going to give the US an enima you would stick the hose in Buffalo.
This post was created at this location.
Dp: I can’t find the clock on this BlackBerry.
bt: its in the applications folder.
Dp: its not! I looked there.
Meebs: give it to me I will find it for you. There it is.
Dp: where did you find it?
Meebs: the applications folder.
Dp: no way, there is only 7 icons in there and none of them are the clock.
Meebs: scroll up!
This post was created at this location.
meg to phil: do a better job organizing my fridge like a true woman.
Girls are often bi or tri polar! Guys on the other hand have a single pole that does all the thinking!
Dp: we only ate half of our junk food.
bt: that’s pretty much like being on a diet.
Rando in long point: if you don’t know every line from anchor man you should be shot and beat with a dead hooker.
Dp: I had a dream I went to a house party with kate hudson last night.
Willy: did you look like A-rod?
This post was created at this location.
bt: you know what’s the best bug spray ever?
Dp: raid?
This post was created at this location.

SDCard/BlackBerry/pictures/IMG00042-20090807-2042(640).jpg
Dp: we will just trick the bugs in to thinking we are over here
This post was created at this location.
bt: why did you call your sis?
Willy: I didn’t know what the base of the nacho dip is supposed to be.
bt: oh I could have told you that! Not really how to make it though, I just know how to eat it.
Taxi driver 2: what did the egg say to the boiling water?
It may take me a while to get hard because I just got laid last night
This post was created at this location.
bt: we had the most wicked cab driver here
Mebs: so did we… Me
Sarah b: that’s tamaras dog, didn’t I tell you my ovaries started working again.
Taxi driver: I was at the flying dog and out came some *makes claw action*… panthers
Linda: You mean cougars?
Taxi driver: they all have claws they rip your clothes off with
bt: do you also fly a rocket ship?
Taxi driver: no why?
bt: because you are leaning back so far
bt: I used to sit like that, but I found I was driving too fast…
Taxi driver: are you driving too fast or flying too slow
How is he going to learn anything? Masturbation is fun too, but it doesn’t really get you anywhere.
Dad: How was that rye and ginger I made you?
amanda: It’s good. I’m still drinking it.
*Mom and dad look at their empty glasses and then at each other.*
Dad: You must be someone else’s daughter.
Dad: Pass me the square-headed screwdriver.
Mom: Isn’t that a character?
amanda: Isn’t who a character?
Mom: Squarehead Fatpants? He’s yellow. He’s a cartoon character.
amanda: Mom! It’s Spongebob Squarepants.
amanda: A lot of people do the C backwards.
Kruschack: I know!
amanda: Why is that?
Kruschack: They’re stupid.
Hold on a second. I have to do a hoedown.
Troy: You need a stick.
Sandra: Why?
Troy: Cos you’se a sucka!