overheard at the office
September 5th, 2008China. Where is that again?
we love our rimjobs!
August 19th, 2008DoubleD: Well I wouldn’t want it to ruin your vacation.
DoubleT: Wouldn’t be the first time.
oh audrina!
August 12th, 2008Lisa: Is she really drunk?
amanda: Either that or really stupid. I can’t figure out which.
jillian to matt at his going away party
August 12th, 2008Fuck you Feet! Go make me some fucking mozzarella sticks!
they call him hands for a reason
August 12th, 2008Hands: We’ll all meet at Ethel’s Lounge at around 6ish.
Lisa: 6pm? I’ll be juiced and passed out by 10!
Hands: Fingers crossed!
you are cordially invited
August 12th, 2008Hands: A suit and tie are usually recommended when visiting Ethel’s. This will also be a non-alcoholic affair as it has become obvious that everyone attending has a problem.
ba-dum-ching!
August 6th, 2008amanda: Maybe they can make cars that run on methane? Then we can have hamburgers and drive SUVs!
goldie: That’s called having your steak and eating it too.
kara, on commercials in Canada
August 6th, 2008The only time I’ve ever seen a commercial with a talking beaver, or any beaver for that matter, is when I’m in Canada.
meby’s plan for world domination
June 11th, 2008amanda: If this plane goes down you’re toast. Me, Murtha, D Squared, Knapster and DP are all on the same flight.
Meby: That sounds like a serious promotion, not an issue.
bt, on gambling
June 11th, 2008Losing money is so much fun. I hate it!
the problem with canadian hip-hop
June 11th, 2008Geurts: Who’s that rapper? B52? Nick 69?
amanda: Buck 65?
Geurts: That’s the one!
no need for gps
June 11th, 2008Kiz: We’ll probably end up at Ethels. I can send you directions if you’ve never been before.
dp, on ABBA
May 6th, 2008dp: amandarubin, you are really digging the ABBA. I can tell.
amanda: You bet!
dp: You know, I can’t really blame you.
geography 101
May 6th, 2008amanda: And in the southern states they have that terrible chicken fried steak with the white gravy.
Hands: Sausage gravy!
amanda: That stuff is terrible.
Hands: You’ll find that anywhere south of the Mississippi. Which is everywhere. Cos the Mississippi runs vertically.
mebs, on usability testing
April 28th, 2008It’s that time again, the grass is green, it feels like summer, the long weekend is coming AND usability testing is pulled up to take your holiday Monday from you.
after dustin totally confused our waitress at ye’s
April 28th, 2008Goldie: You should go to Japan and become and ESL teacher.
Dustin: They’ll come out knowing less than when they went in!
BT: They’ll come out with four fucking scoops is what they’ll come out with!
hands to four short guys in an elevator
April 1st, 2008So. . . how’s grade 9 working out for you guys?
grammar bitch
April 1st, 2008BT: I’m hunk and dry.
amanda: Do you mean drunk and high?
BT: You know that’s what I meant.
i wonder what colour that would be?
March 27th, 2008ian: I looked at the list and totally failed to see what I was looking for.
amanda: I guess the folder structure is sorta confusing. . .
ian: Not a usability failure – a reading failure.
amanda: Oh! Well that’s a horse of a different colour.
ian: A horse made of fail.
white pants for all…
March 24th, 2008bt: i wonder if someone walks around in white pants in the winter if it just looks like their upper half is floating?
on american idol
March 14th, 2008Paula Abdul to Jason Castro: I felt you. That came from your heart, and I feel your heart.
Amanda: His heart isn’t all she wants to feel.
The Effects of Marijuana
March 14th, 2008BB: My kids are getting to the age where they are going to start encountering drugs.
GT: Weed makes me paranoid
DP: It makes me want popsicles and my bed
BT: It makes me awesome
Another Bum experience
March 12th, 2008Bt: umm I am pretty sure that guy was going to count to 100 in Dutch for us.
Dp: ya’ what the fuck? Do we have signs on us that say if you are a bum talk to us?
DP, on getting drunk on scotch
March 12th, 2008Dp: hey baby I punched you a painting in the wall.
Snoop Dawgy Dump Truck
March 12th, 2008While watching a Chris Bosh interview…
Brad: he looks like snoop dog
Kiz: ya but worse
Brent: snoop dog hit by a dump truck
Kiz [to the tune of snoop dawgy dawg]: Snoop duuuuump truuuck
tyler, on powerpoint
February 5th, 2008The biggest issue with making presentations is that people tend to forget that it’s called PowerPoint, not PowerSentence.
jeff, on how to get a lesbian to come to your birthday party
February 5th, 2008Jeff: You should come to my party! My Amish friends will be there. . .
Amanda: Cos one of the things lesbians like best is Amish men.
sometimes jeff gets a little competitive
February 5th, 2008You better fuck him hard. And I don’t mean in your personal life, either!
12 is enough
January 24th, 2008Kiz: have you seen the movie called 12 is enough?…
**Brad and Brent have no idea what she is talking about
…Some time later…
Kiz: Oh its Cheaper by the dozen.
work it out
January 24th, 2008Kiz: I feel like I need to do something…
Vicki: Push ups. Go!
Ahh curtains and drapes
January 24th, 2008Jillian: your hair is really dark right now. Do the curtains match the drapes?
Kyle: there’s no curtains
Fancy Pants
January 24th, 2008Brent: grand lux cafe is right there. Wow it looks fancy
JW: ya its a pretty big deal.
bt to jbo
January 23rd, 2008BT: Ow! You smacked my eyeball, you stupid optometrist!
brenTron
January 23rd, 2008jBo: Tron! Tell me they’re not calling someone Tron!
amanda: They are. And I think it might be Brent.
on giving your valentine a blackberry
January 11th, 2008Nothing says I love you like an IT Policy!
andy, on himself
January 11th, 2008Andy: That’s not my area of expertise.
Amanda: Well, what is your area of expertise?
Andy: Awesome.
justin, on charlie wilson’s war
January 11th, 2008Justin: Women and donuts? That sounds like a good party!
Amanda: I think he said women and donors.
check, check, check one two
January 11th, 2008BT: It’s is a joint. Not a microphone.
oh christmas tree. . .
December 7th, 2007Brad: Do you want to go get a Christmas tree tomorrow?
Kiz: Yes. No! I don’t know. I do. But I don’t like making plans.
BT: Do you want to spontaneously go get a Christmas tree tomorrow?
kiz to bt
December 7th, 2007Are you Al Gore right now?
brent, on cohiba cigarettes
December 7th, 2007BT: It smells like banana! And maneuvre.
Kiz: Do you mean banana and manure?
BT: Yes
Kiz: Banana and manure cigarettes?
Brad: That sounds good. Can I have one of those?
Kiz: Do you mean banana and manure?
BT: Yes
Kiz: Banana and manure cigarettes?
Brad: That sounds good. Can I have one of those?
small, medium and large
December 7th, 2007BT: It’s Brent’s 3 step program. To awesomeness.
musical criticism 202
December 7th, 2007Amanda: This is a lot of base.
Mike: It is.
Erin: It’s also a significant amount of snare.
musical criticism 101
December 7th, 2007Amanda: No one wants to hear this. No one wants to dance to Fuck her Gently by Tenacious D!
Kristin: Where is Perry anyway?
Who says radiation is all bad?
December 7th, 2007davep to brandy: Do you have different holsters depending on the colour of the outfit that you are wearing?
brandy: Yeah, don’t you?
davep: No, I rock sans holster, but I hear these thing give off radiation that can mess with your gennies.
jeffg: That’s not a bad thing you know, now you can go “buckets off”
couldn’t have said it better myself
December 5th, 2007It’s been officially cold and snowy for less than a week and already I am fucking tired of listening to people complain about it. Which is why this struck such a chord with me:
Amen!
Small hands
November 23rd, 2007davep: I knew a guy that had a girl friend wth small hands. He loved it, can you guess why?
*After some serious thought, davep is about to tell us and Brandy pretty much screams out
brandy: OH I KNOW!!!
clue: It makes something look else look bigger.
Jillian on beta code
November 23rd, 2007Dear Jerk,
I don’t know what you were thinking when you designed a phone that resets every two seconds and never seems to work properly. Would you give your mother this phone? I hope not, because she would be very ashamed of you. Dumbass.
Cigarette’s for Bums
November 23rd, 2007bt: tossing your butt of the side of your balcony in kitchener is definately going to cause some bum fights!
So True
November 23rd, 2007davep: You know i have to buy Guitar Hero now and it is going to ruin my life don’t you?