sarahb’s favourite weather app

Posted in sarahb (aka billy) on November 23rd, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

sarab: I use Accuweather because its be so gloriously accu-rate

netflix disappointment

Posted in bennyp on November 16th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

BennyP: I was looking for a movie to watch last night on netflix. Saw DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS….

……..I choose it

Its in french for some unknown reason.

Ne pas de happy

g-theory, by meebs

Posted in bt, meebs on November 14th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

bt: your bbm not working? I just sent a msg
meebs: little g, not a good g.

jon, on jambalaya

Posted in food, jon on November 14th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

Jambalaya Starts with a J and end with and “ah yeah”

siri this!

Posted in amanda, blackberry, charlie on November 2nd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Charlie: If you’re your own friend on BBM Music, do you get 2x as many songs!?
amanda: Yup. I’d be sad if I wasn’t allowed to be my own friend. If I don’t love myself how can anyone else love me?
Charlie: Fundamental question, really. I’m glad BBM Music answered it for us.

greenough, on game of thrones

Posted in books, greenough, tv on October 27th, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Game of Thrones is actually a good read as well.  It’s an absolute beast, but well worth the time. It’s like Tolkien, but for adults, without all the orc and fairy gayness.

creepy ol’ dp

Posted in dp, sarahb (aka billy) on August 3rd, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

DP commenting on Childhood pic in SaraB’s BBM Status:
“I totally would have kidnapped you in a park”

the problem with mexico

Posted in amanda, mexico, travel on July 11th, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment
?

amanda: Why is the traffic so bad?
Alvaro: There are 15 million people living in Mexico City
amanda: Wow. The total population of Canada is only like 34 million.
Alvaro: That’s the only issue with this country. It’s so full of Mexicans.

Overheard at an airport

Posted in general on May 27th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

You know what else is good? Spray cheese in a Bugle.

Loud Mouth Soup

Posted in bt, dp on May 27th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

dp: F this rain. I need to hone my sweet swing!
bt: Agreed, i hate it! Makes me depressed.
dp: Drink some whiskly.
bt: Loud mouth soup – here i come!
dp: Just saw how I spelled that. That’s how you spell it when you’re already on your way.

Oh Benny Lava

Posted in general on May 13th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

Hilarious and full of great quotes ;)

who needs nicorette?

Posted in sarahb (aka billy), willy on May 13th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

sarah b: you have coffee time coffee? who goes to coffee time?
willy: at least they still only charge me $1.52 for a large
sara b: does it still taste like smoke? Is this how you are getting your nicotine fixes?

Canadian Thanksgiving

Posted in amanda, canada, christmas on May 5th, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Canadian Thanskgiving is way better than American Thanksgiving. It’s just time off work and turkey dinner. Kinda like Christmas, but without the pressure to buy things, or love Jesus.

Lee, on taxes in America

Posted in america, true on May 5th, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

We pay less taxes because we don’t care about the environment. Or if people starve or die.

For those that have seen the movie Role Models

Posted in bt, jillian on April 20th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

BT (while looking at a paint sample): This matches perfectly. You have an eye, Jabes.
JT: No I don’t.
BT: Well. You have a whispering eye.

troy, on apples to apples

Posted in general on March 23rd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

During a game of Apples to Apples. . .
Troy: Are you Mexican?
Amanda: No, why?
Troy: Cos you ain’t got no green cards!

Posted in booze, dp, meebs on March 23rd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Mebs: True or false? People are more attracted to redheads on St. Paddy’s day.
DP: True! They think we’re Irish. And also Mexican.
DP: I mean magical!!

overheard @ a subway in the airport

Posted in sports on March 23rd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Sandwich Artist: Hello there Notre Dame! What can I get for you? Besides a better football team!

dinner options

Posted in amanda, food on March 23rd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

amanda: Damn. I can’t believe I forgot. I feel like a dick.
james: But I’m making you chicken.

sometimes stereotypes are true

Posted in booze, brent, meebs on March 23rd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Mebs: We have to finish this pitcher.
BT: We have a weak link at the other end of the table.
Mebs: Asian.
BT: Figures.

double your fun

Posted in amanda, booze, brett on March 23rd, 2011 by amanda – Be the first to comment

amanda: Maybe instead of mixing rye with ginger, we should mix rye with beer.
BT: Where has that idea been my whole life?

dp, a true leader

Posted in bt, dp, work on January 10th, 2011 by bt – Be the first to comment

Well my friend BT here thought it would be a good idea to take this [leadership] course. He did the research, sent me the link, and encouraged me to sign up.
I did so, and was the first to send out the meeting request.
This action served to make this whole course ‘my’ idea – now that’s what I like to call leadership.

Kristin, on How to Succeed in Curling

Posted in curling, jon, kristin, sports on December 7th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

Kristin: I think the secret to my success tonight was I drank like I was pregnant
Jon: Are you actually pregnant?

ball-shed!

Posted in amanda, booze, dustin, jess on December 4th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Dustin: This is ball-shed!
Jess: What?
Dustin: It’s ball-shed!
Amanda: Is he trying to call bullshit?
Jess: Apparently tonight it’s ball-shed.

BT on how to convert a vegetarian

Posted in booze, bt, food, lindaq on December 4th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Quinteros I’m going to feed you meat until you like it!

Mmmm Bacon

Posted in bt, curling, kristin on November 24th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

This was at curling…
bt: [to the guy we are playing against] you are making the ice your bitch!
kristin: what did you say?
*bt is now feeling a bit foolish because he thinks Kristin is taking the statement as a sexist comment. He decides to repeat himself*
bt: i said, you are making this ice your bitch!
kristin: ohhhh, i thought you said something about a bacon sandwich

my parents on LOST season 1

Posted in tv on November 24th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Dad: What happened? What did I miss?
Mom: Nothing.
Dad: I was gone 10 minutes and nothing happened?
Mom: Well, the doctor saw his dead father again and then he fell off a cliff. But the bald guy saved him. Oh! And someone stole all the water.
Dad: Sounds like nothing.

twice baked potatoes

Posted in amanda, food, weed on November 24th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

amanda: What’s a twice baked potato?
sandra: You bake a potato. Then you scoop out the insides and mash it with butter and garlic. You put that back into the potato and bake it again.
amanda: Wait. It’s a baked potato with mashed potatoes inside?
sandra: Basically.
amanda: Carbs filled with carbs? Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before now!?

talk radio in Oklahoma

Posted in radio, random, travel on November 24th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

DJ 1: We have a problem with over population in this country. Do you know why? A new baby is born in America every 8 seconds. But then someone dies every 12 seconds. Then (and here’s the kicker) a new immigrant arrives in America every 37 seconds.
DJ 2: Well. There’s your problem right there.

bt’s amazing memory at its finest

Posted in brent, bt, jillian on November 13th, 2010 by bt – 1 Comment

jt: I really want to buy the game “Dutch Blitz”.
bt: okay, lets go find it.
*not 10 seconds later*
bt: what’s the name of that game again? “Deuce It”?

jt and poon on their performance in dance class

Posted in dance, jillian, poonster, sarcasm on November 13th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

poon: we were obviously the best in the class tonight.
jt: yeah, we were oozing sexuality.
poon: only when we weren’t oozing gangsta.

No words can describe

Posted in general on October 25th, 2010 by bt – 1 Comment

Watch this and try not to laugh.

Pats lack of pumpkin carving skills

Posted in meebs on October 23rd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

Meebs: hey pat, I’m out front looking at your down syndrome pumpkins.

jillian, on cow gender

Posted in animals, jillian on October 19th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

that cow only had one teat! oh wait, maybe it was its weiner.

The gingero getting ready for winter

Posted in dp on October 15th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

CT: What’s your car
DP: 2010 Camaro 1LT
CT: and you’re looking for winter tires?
DP: yes, and steel rims.
CT: Do you have a particular brand in mind?
DP: The cheapest one
CT: You drive a camaro with 20”Tires. I can tell you right now this isn’t going to be cheap.
DP: Super.

Jaxon is observant

Posted in general on September 23rd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

AV guy has a ponytail. Shocker

US person on Canadian breakfast

Posted in general on September 23rd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

There is a lot of cheese out there, Canadians must love cheese for breakfast

troublemaker

Posted in general on September 22nd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

In meetings one guy (chuck) starts going off…
Tim: put the pin back in the grenade chuck

bt consulting

Posted in bt, willy on September 22nd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

bt: willy! Your hair looks great.
willy: thanks I went in to get bangs and decided to chop it off.
bt: you should have come to me like last time. I could have talked you out of it.

dp, on his life

Posted in dp on September 2nd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

dp: my life is like a Madonna concert *after changing his shirt 4 times*

sext this!

Posted in blackberry, bt, phil, sex on September 2nd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment
bt: phil you want me to type while you drive?
Phil: no, its sexting, you can’t do it as well.

BBM TMI

Posted in blackberry, sex on August 30th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

girl: What up?
guy: What’s the deal? Whenever you BBM me I’m always just about to jerk off.
girl: Gross. I guess I have a sixth sense?
guy: Or a sexth sense?

dp, a true professional

Posted in amanda, dp, work on August 30th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

dp: What’s that go link again? The one for all the AT&T VPLs?
amanda: go/attvpl?
dp: That’s the one.

jenny b on the summer fashions of 20-somethings

Posted in fashion, jenny b on June 30th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Summer. Tis the season to wear a scarf and a tank top.

Detroit in a nutshell

Posted in drinking, hockey on May 6th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

There’s something awesome about Detroit, and that’s getting the fuck out of it.

The Old Sales Approach on Haircuts

Posted in work on May 3rd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

The hair grows on company time, so it should get cut on company time.

hell freezes over

Posted in amanda, bt, mattk on April 9th, 2010 by amanda – Be the first to comment

Hey Rubenstein, I was just passing by BT’s desk and notice this odd note. It states you admitted to being wrong. I know it felt a little cold outside but this confirms it, hell has frozen o-va!

the way to die

Posted in booze on April 2nd, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

Mike: there is a dead fly in my beer… Well, at least he died happy.

life without a BlackBerry

Posted in blackberry on March 30th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

Life without a functioning BB is like hitting a bong with only tobacco

a forward that made me laugh

Posted in forwards on March 24th, 2010 by bt – Be the first to comment

I just received the below forward from my Aunt and proceeded to laugh so hard at my desk that I’m sure people were wondering what was wrong with me.

WARNING : ONLY Read This When You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD

 I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented ‘you’re definitely going to shit yourself’ road-kill chili. Tasty stuff, although hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.. 

 Here’s the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No ‘Watson’s Movement. Despite the chillies swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as ‘thunder and lightning’.

 Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the deck.  Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase.. It wasn’t until I was at the opposite end of the store from the toilets that the pain hit me. 

 Oh, don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m referring to that ‘Uh, Oh, Shit, gotta go’ pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The chillies from the night before were staging a revolt.  In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the toilets which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The chillies fired a warning shot. 

 There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a toxic cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me.  Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red aproned clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help. 

  I don’t know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the toxic non-visible fog that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here’s what I mean, and I’m sure some of you at least will be able to relate.  I could’ve warned that poor clerk, but didn’t. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. ………BIG mistake!!!!! 

 Here’s the thing. When you laugh, it’s hard to keep things ‘clamped down’, if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.  Suddenly things were no longer funny.. ‘It’ was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the toilet, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I’d make it before the grand explosion took place.
  Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable ‘Oh my God’, floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of ‘Shock and Awe’.. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, ‘Son-of-a-bitch!, did it smell that bad when you ate it?’, then quickly left. 

  Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, ‘Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.’ 

  My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, ‘IT’S YOU!’, then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. 

  Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can’t say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they’re going to have to repaint the store.